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Fuzzy Thoughts

I'm the commander, see, I don't need to explain, I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president.

President W. Bush as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

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  • You know I love Sunflower market so much...I have less and less reasons to go anywhere else. 11 hrs ago
  • zooming along today...Hope to finish my rewrite this afternoon and my modules too. 16 hrs ago
  • Must go dry off the dog. 18 hrs ago
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Things I’m Not Doing

February 4th, 2010 | No Comments »

Sweeping Epic Gothic! That’s how best to describe Bellefleur by Joyce Carol Oates…a book I’m no longer reading because the prose drowns you.

Drowns I tell you.

I made it one third of the way through the book and couldn’t take it any more. I couldn’t breath, think without despair and I didn’t care about anyone.

Didn’t help the book started with a drowning either.

So that book went to Black & Read…they didn’t want it either. I’m having trouble with the O’s. Besides O’Dell (Island of the Blue Dolphins and Zia) and my current book I’ve dropped Kevin O’Donnell of the brink for his boring, make me do math, Sci Fi snoozer Fire on the Border. Then there was Tawni O’Dell’s murder most foul and unlikable character tome Back Roads. At least I made through Twilight and got many hours of entertainment out of it with making of the fun. These I couldn’t even deal with. It is possible the Edwin O’Connor books might end up on the same pile…but they are at least readable so far.

Also I’m apparently not selling my house. The banks said no at the last minute before closing and the buyer pulled out because she can’t get a conventional loan or pay cash only. Frell…anyone want a house?

I have a ton of other things to do then leak money. Don’t worry, I’d be in this same position had a kept my day job. Worse actually, because I’d be letting down folks other than myself. The room cleansing continues.

We’re not getting a bread maker. The broken one J. bought still sits in the kitchen. He called Cuisinart, who agreed to replace it. Apparently they didn’t say what they’d replace it with. So far we have an espresso maker, and a brick oven (I kid you not) sitting next to the broken bread maker. We give in Cuisinart…we’ll just bake the old fashioned way.

Finally, I am not on schedule. Damn. Kick me now.

Washing the Gods

January 25th, 2010 | No Comments »

This morning when I got up I washed all the house and wight alters, set out offerings then got started on work.

Today, I’m officially a writer. I wrote, watched my diet and did some house cleaning. Right now I’m sitting with a Chai writing some more. I got some bookkeeping done and tried to answer the panicked questions from the person who took over my old position.

It was a good day.

Decided to quit and become a writer full time.

Tell work so they have time to hire someone else who I can train. X

Update and re-design my website – Still have widgets to deal with….but almost there.

Put aside a 1 – 2 paycheck buffer so I can pay myself on the same schedule – 1 pay check away!

Update and change insurance – bullocks. Not going to happen. So X

Update business cards

Clean up the “room of no return” and get my office in order: still have four more boxes then I can start moving stuff under the stairs. 20 boxes have translated to 3…maybe 4…oh the junk we keep.


Get a tax savings account

Sell that house – closing in four days

Two things left on my big list. I’ve also started writing for Studio Mom, and I have other stuff to work on. I’m feeling good.

The best in years really. It’s funny how chronically ill just doesn’t seem so bad when you’re living your dream.

Friday Roundup The First

January 8th, 2010 | No Comments »

Unfortunately, kidney stones have kept me down this week. So I’m a bit behind. However I wanted to let you know what I’ve been doing around the web. I’ve been a busy girl so read and enjoy!

Over at Examiner.com:
I talk about the upcoming MAGNAcon
I do a recap of the 2009 Spike Video Game Awards and their love of nearly naked women.
I remind you all that Genghiscon is coming up!
And I get all nostalgic over Final Fantasy IX. Come over and tell me your memories of the game!

At Studio Mothers:
I wax poetic about the impending leap of doom I’m taking.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. I’ve nearly got the redesign of this site done. Promise!

Get Rich Quick vs. Following the Dream

December 9th, 2009 | No Comments »

Since a few people have asked. No, I don’t expect to get rich quick. I expect to make a living. While these are not mutually exclusive, I am not imbibing any liquids for the religious experience.

I am, however, about to follow my dream. And I’m pretty happy about that.

Plan update:

So here’s the game plan.

Decided to quit and become a writer full time. X

Tell work so they have time to hire someone else who I can train. X

Update and re-design my website – in process

Put aside a 1 – 2 paycheck buffer so I can pay myself on the same schedule – 3/4 of the way there.

Update and change insurance – Waiting for underwriting to finish.

Update business cards – in design phase…on slight hold because of article publishing times.

Clean up the “room of no return” and get my office in order – Cans are being moved now. With my mind…okay I’ve started this.

Get a tax savings account

Sell that house – End of January!

Get articles started for newest venture.

Make my minimum for the first venture.

Get articles done for second venture. (Ha! No all my eggs are not in one basket).

The Plan

December 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »

So here’s the game plan.

Decided to quit and become a writer full time. X

Tell work so they have time to hire someone else who I can train. X

Update and re-design my website – in process

Put aside a 1 – 2 paycheck buffer so I can pay myself on the same schedule – half way there.

Update and change insurance – Waiting for quotes

Update business cards – in design phase

Clean up the “room of no return” and get my office in order – shelves purchased and ready for cleaning this weekend.

Get a tax savings account

Sell that house – Looking like January!

That’s the current game plan!

Smackdown: Thanks for all the Encouragement

December 2nd, 2009 | No Comments »

Holy shit! Thank you all for the words of encouragement.

Some of you might find this funny (some may have have no idea why this is weird) but I told my mother my plans. For the very first time in my life she said go for it. She’s never encouraged me to do anything risky, ever. In fact, she usually yells at me for long periods of time if I have a risky thought.

So I’m looking into insurance plans as well as the plan I will qualify for in two months. I’m feeling a little chicken…but I’m gonna do it. I told someone once that I would never be able to follow that dream because I had to give everything up to support my daughter alone. I am extremely grateful that the gods have seen fit to hand me back my dream and still allow my to support the pooh bunny.

A little background: I’ve been doing this work since 95. Last year I started being payed seriously to write. Not amateur rates anymore, which are free to piddling amounts. My non-fiction freelance opportunities have been growing and with a mix of fiction in there I’ve been extremely happy with the result. Then this November, when I got sick, I found out that I could do this full time.

I have UI problems and possibly fibromyalgia. Pain keeps me awake. So I write. I’ve been working the equivalent of another 8 hours day at it and I’ve been making more than I have at my day job. Despite all my complaints, it’s hard to express how much I love web design and therefore my current job. But I love writing more.

For a girl who can’t hold a pencil too long without pain…that’s fairly ironic.

It’s almost three in the morning. I have a lot of work to do before I can quit. I need to have a week or two pay for the shift in schedule buffer and insurance. I need to wrap up work projects and get people trained.

To the folks that have said why not work both and pay down the debt…I thought about this a long time. And I realized that I can’t do it. I’ve been working 16 hour days for the past month because I can’t sleep. If I keep this up I will not have time to do things that matter to me that aren’t work. I know it sounds silly…but that road lay madness, and a life not worth living. I want to live life.

So here I go. Count down begun. Mom, I’m gonna be a writer.

Conflicted: On Following Dreams, Please Help

November 30th, 2009 | No Comments »

Frell it all.

I’m standing on a precipice and I can see the bottom clearly. I really want to jump but I have responsibilities up here.

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted two things: to work alone and at home. Now alone doesn’t mean just alone, but being my own boss is extremely seductive. Face it, I have all the people skills of a badger. It’s not just a clever tag line, it’s everything I am. I don’t suffer anyone, fools or geniuses alike. I’m a play or get out of the way gal. Not that I don’t play nice but…okay I don’t play nice. Get out of my sandbox; you’re getting it dirty.

I’ve been sick. Bad sick. Stay at home with great pain sick. And it’s only bound to get worse. I’m not sure what I need to do about it except rest, gentle exercise and diet. None of that actually gets rid of the pain but it makes it manageable.

So I’ve been sick and busy with NaNo, and work and home. My free time has been beset by old video game-itis. But the thing is, I found a light at the end of the tunnel. You see, I’ve become a content writer.

So what? The thing is…is that it pays regularly. And while I was sick, I could do something I never thought possible. Something I thought I had to give up with my first husband. Work at home with a steady paycheck. I not only made up the holes in my regular job’s pay…but also make extra for Christmas gifts. And that’s after taxes. In less than six hours a day.

Holy hell.

This is where I’m sitting: I want to quit my day job. I know it’s not news.

Pros:
Working from home.
Working from home (yes it’s worth repeating).
Higher pay than I get now with regular job.
Health insurance provided after three months. (I’m on month 2).
Working whatever hours I feel like.
I can pay off my debt at the same rate as before.

Cons:
Paying my own taxes. (I already do this but have made so little in the past that I can get away with once a year. That won’t be the case next year).
This won’t be extra money anymore.
Becoming a hermit cat/dog lady (unlikely, but let’s imagine I have three boobs and some kind of green, pulsating tumor to go with this).
I have to finish my obligations at work and train some poor fool to take over.
I’m in debt up past my eyeballs.

That’s it. What do I do? When can I do? Holy fuck, do you know how much I want to do this?

Someone push me over the edge.

Temeraire: In the Service of the King by Naomi Novik

November 4th, 2009 | No Comments »

It’s War! Napoleonic! With Dragons!

Okay not as exciting as In Space!, but Novik’s books about dragon aviators in the 19th century are brilliant. The language, at first, comes off stiff and formal. But as you pick up on the nuance it become endearing. I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d like this book. My omnibus edition was thick and the cover blurb didn’t do it justice. I loved this book.

His Majesty’s Dragon

The first book begins with William Laurence, a captain in the British Navy, finding a dragons egg aboard a French frigate. Forced to allow one of his men to bond with the dragon due to Britain’s needs, the dragon hatches and chooses him instead.

Most of the book centers on learning one’s place given circumstances with a good note on when to break that rule. It was fun story, with heart-break and triumph mixed well. Not very deep, but extremely entertaining.

The Jade Throne

The adventure continues when word gets back to the Chinese that Temeraire landed in the hands of the English, and is being forced to fight as well. Most of the book concerns itself with journey to China via the sea.

Unfortunately the second book highlights more flaws with Novik’s work. She constantly brings up social ills such as poverty and slavery, however they seems to be brought up as flavor and not very plot worthy. Laurence is staunchly against both but that’s about as far as it goes. I don’t need these as a moral compass in the story. They are just brought up as “Fact of Life” tidbits, similar to the treatment of Levitas in the first book. Even when Novik hits on deeper truths (European dragons are treated like slaves), she just shrugs it off with a isn’t is so much better than being left to starve when you’re old detail during a town visit. Then the thought is left fallow until Temeraire remembers again.

The Black Powder War

I’m thinking these books should not be read quickly together.  Most of this book concerns itself with the overland trip back from China.  While I love the description and the setting, there isn’t much more than that for nearly half the book.  It took a long time to get to the war and then it was very frustrating. However one thing I absolutely loved? The feral dragon and Novik’s depiction of their society. That was absolutely brilliant. I loved the storytelling scene.

Overall the book were good but the formal language was a bit much for one sitting. I’ll take a break and get back to the other books. They were fun, well written and entertaining.

Nearly Lost

November 1st, 2009 | No Comments »

I nearly lost my dog last night. whin2009

This year we lost two pets (J. will say one since he doesn’t like cats). I found Seren dead in the snow…apparently liver failure…an old problem that came back. And Dagny got bone cancer. Halloween night we almost lost Whinnie, not to disease, but because she likes people.

She’ll go with anyone, anyone. The joke is that she’d try to make friends with a mountain lion. So we left for the NaNo kick off party last night; I patted her on the head and we left. J. noticed she was missing when he brought Ragnar in from then back yard. He went out looking for her then called me, thinking I took her with me. We raced home, M. and I and I really bawled. Really. She probably jumped out with some trick or treaters after we left. I don’t think anyone took her from the yard. I hope not.

I grabbed the electric lantern we had and M came with me as we walked the neighborhood calling her name and whistling. We skipped this one street because we thought we saw something. As we swung around we realize it was a cat if anything. So I led us back around to go up the street we left. We came across a party that was breaking up. A group in an old Landrover called out to us.

“Hey, did you lose a dog? A black pug?”
“Yes!”

And they produced Whinnie from the back seat. I don’t where they were going with her but the said something about planning to come back to the neighborhood the next day and post flyers. I was so glad to have her back I didn’t ask disturbing questions about why they were leaving with her or how long they had her or how they had found her.

So the pug is fine. I still have two dogs and two cats. And when this adrenaline rush finally drops I’m going to very very sorry.