A guide you make your call less painless for both you and the Technical Agent..V 1.7
So your computer is having problems, or maybe it’s your printer, or software or video card or whatever. It really does not matter, but you’ve done everything you possibly know how and nothing works. You groan in horror as you begin to realize you have to call…TECH SUPPORT…Bum Da Dummmmm.
It’s not that bad, really. You just have to be prepared, and ready to recieve help. This faq was created as a guide to help you survive Tech support. After a year in Tech Support, and four years in computer services, I’ve dealt with all of the nicest, to the most irate people ever planted on this earth. If you thought food service was bad (I’ve done that too), try computers, it’s much worse. Hopefully this will bridge the knowledge gap between Techies and their customers(you).
You want my what!?!
Most companies like to keep records. Depending on your product you will have to give them information for that record. This information will aid the Techie in finding previous records, sending you what you need to fix your product and generally catergorize your problem and case. You should have this information gathered before you call. This will help speed the call along, and create less friction between you and the Techie. If you don’t know what they want then say so. Usually they can help you find out where that information is at. Still you should be prepared and willing to give all the information they need. Here is a list of things you should always have when calling computer related Tech Support. Remember, they may not need all of this but it is still a good idea to always have the information on hand.
- Full Name (Your Real Name Please)
- Mailing address
- Phone Number
- Product Model Name and Number
- Computer Processor speed
- Amount of RAM Memory
- Operating System Name and Version.
- Software name and Version (if Applicatble)
- Serial Number
- Purchase Date
- Problem Infomation
- Customer Number (if applicatble)
- A written copy of any error messages your computer has given in front of you.
You may have called before and have already given this information to an agent. If they ask for it again give it to them. Every company works differently. Some have databases that don’t readily search for previous calls. Others may not have your information in the database due to problems they may have had, or because you talked to a different agency before.
What!?! I’m calling long distance? (Or for those with older or Microsoft products: I’m being charged What?!!)
Yes you are. Sorry. There is nothing we can do about it. Most companies can’t afford to uphold an 800 number and keep their products priced low. For others it costs more money for them to offer tech support for products that have been discontinued for several years. They charge for the sevice in order to cover the cost. That’s fine that you don’t like it, but yelling at your Techie will not only make you more irate by their calm answers but they will get more angry with you. Instead calmly ask if they have an address you can write to for comments and compliants. Usually we will gladley provide you with this and then we can happily help you on your way.
If your product is out of warranty, frequently the company will charge for the support as well. If your are in warrranty tell the techie, normally they will drop the charges or explain why you must still be charged. Again, don’t yell at the techie, it is not their fault. They won’t be able change anything about your situation.
But I’ve been on hold for…
Like I said…That’s nice, thank you for sharing, but again there is nothing we can do about it. Whether there are four or four hundred agents there will never be enough to answer the mutitudes of calls that come in at once. The majority of calls are people who have never used a computer before and need help installing something. It is not that the product is junk, just that not everyone understands how the products work. New users getting new parts will clog up any phone line.
The world does not revolve around you, but we are trying to answer all calls as quickly as possible. If you nicely ask we will happily give you alternatives like webpages, fax serivces etc. Yelling at us will get you no where.
The fabled two second quickie or Hurry! Hurry!
The key word here is fabled. Don’t call up expecting us to be able fix your problem within a two second time limit. We have to troubleshoot the problem to find out exatically what’s causing it. You don’t go into a doctor’s office expecting him to wave a magic wand to fix your broken limb do you? No. First there are x-rays, probes, questions, paper work. We all wish for a faster more efficient world but it ain’t here now. Your “simple” problem of your software giving you a generel protection fault can mean many things. We have to test your systems to find out what. Yes you’re calling long distance but in order to fix your problem we must go through several steps. If you don’t want us too, then don’t call.
Also under this catergory is the problem of location. Leaving your printer in Iceland and calling from Michigan will not help you or us. (You think I’m making this up, well all I can say is you should have been there). You need to be near the product that you need to be helped with. That’s nice that your phone doesn’t reach, but we will still make you go over there to do the stuff we need to fix your product. Granted sometimes we can give you some things to try, but it will be much easier for us and you if you’re there in front of your product and doing the steps as we walk you through them.
Though it is possible that the company you are calling allows this, don’t expect us to call you back. Most of us cannot promise to do this nor do we have the resources for this. The phone number is in the book so that you can call us. If is worked the other way around we would randomly call you and if you missed us, well, you don’t get tech support for this year.
But Uncle Joe-Bob’s cousin’s brother’s son-in law (our computer “expert”) did this…
That’s fine, do it again. We need to know if it will do it now and exatically what happened when it does or does not do it. You can have them troubleshoot for you, but if you local computer “expert” can’t fix it, then do not have him/her yelling at us in the background. If we need you to do it again we have a good reason for you to follow these steps. This is our job, we know how to do it, thank you. Had your expert fixed your product you would not be calling us.
After troubleshooting don’t let them take it apart, or tinker with your product. It usually voids your warranty. It’s great they know alot, but remember your calling us because they can’t fix it.
Yes this means you Mr/s. Expert. We love people that know what they’re doing, and we’re glad you read your manual. The problem is when you do things like: “this will never work” or “tried that, did this, can’t we just skip this?”, it makes the call longer than it needs to be and can be very irratating. Though I hate to say, we do know options you might not, and even though you’ve done this before doing it now can tell us things that you may not have noticed.
So the Retailer lied to you…
Yes, they do that. You told them exactically what you had and they sold you the wrong thing, or even told you despite your doubts that this really was what you needed. Really. First, don’t get mad at us. We didn’t tell you that you just had to have that five hundred dollar midi card to run Doom. Nor did we tell you that your 386 could run microsoft Visual C++ for windows 95. We know how you feel. It isn’t your fault and we are not blaming you. How can you protect yourself?
First always read the box. Does it say it’s a DOS printer? No. Then don’t buy it for your DOS based system. Do you have a pentium processor? If you don’t know don’t buy the Windows 95 version of Inside the SAT, that requires a pentium. Don’t despair, this doesn’t happen often. Listen to what your retailer says and weigh what you know. It may save you phone call.
I don’t know anything can I….?
Yes, put your child on, your father, your friend, your computer “expert”. We don’t mind. As long as they have the information we need. We won’t yell at your kids or call you or them stupid. Don’t worry.
If you don’t want to troubleshoot, don’t call!
Tech support is here for one reason. To help you fix your product over the phone. If all you want is a new product or to send it in, you’ve called the wrong place. We won’t upgrade or replace your product just because you want a newer one, especially if you’ve owned the product for more than two years. If this is what you want go back to where you bought it and give it to them, but guess what? They’ll call us first and probably charge you for it. Remember the technology is newer than you think, and like all mechanical things they break down. One really nice lady once put it this way: “Computer tech support is like the flower business, you will always have the person, who, after owning the flower for a month, will bring it back complaining that it died, and wanting a replacement.”
The blah blah blah syndrome
We need to know what that error is on your screen, and that means you must read the whole thing to us. There are a multitude of things “caused a blah blah blah in mogul blah blah blah” can mean. Yes, we know alot of what it might be, but we won’t know you have it until you confirm our suspicians by telling us exactically what it says. If you need to ask us exactically what we want, or if you have questions about the error don’t hesitate to ask us.
You may also notice the long pause after we’ve told you to do something. We need you to tell us that you have finished what we have asked you to do, or that it did not work and why. We can’t see over the phone.
We can’t always know how technically inclined you are
We don’t mean to act like your stupid, but unless you tell us that you know what your doing, we will walk you through every little step. Tell us what you know. It will make things easier for the both of us.
This is TECH SUPPORT NOT SELF HELP
Please, we are truly sorry you kids are a pain, and that your husband is cheating on you with your daughter’s best friend, but this has nothing to do with your product and you should be talking to some one else about this. Kill people on your own time and dump you guilt on your pyschiatrist.
I just got off the phone with (whoever) can you transfer me back?
This is the last thing you should ask. We are not Secretaries. All of use are technically trained the same and can help you. This is why we keep records as well. When you call the first thing we try to do is to try to get your record. This tells us what your past problems have been and what others did to fix them. You also need to consider that the person you probably just got off the phone with is on another call. They don’t wait for you to call back. Expect whoever you get next to help you.
But that other agent told me
Unfortunetly every job has its ah, non-model employees. Those who will tell a customer anything to get off the phone then use his PR skills to get his supervisor to blame someone else. They promise free stuff that they can’t send you, or pawn you off onto someone else for no reason. Or even tell you some thing completely ludicrous. Unfortunetly they also tend not to make records. They don’t take down your address or name so there is no way for us to get back in contact with you. If after one of your calls to tech support the promise a techie has not come through in about a week to two weeks call back. Don’t get mad at the techie who you get this time. Tell them what happened, give the name of the techie you talked to who made you the promise. We will check our records, our supervisor, and even the techie you talked to if we know who that was. Sometimes it just a misunderstanding or even a computer foul up. In any case all we can do is help you with the problem from the begininng and try to resolve it. If what the tech told you resulted in the destruction of your computer…we will not be responsible unless you are calling the line that supports your computer. It’s not fair but what is?
But I don’t want to know all this…I just want it to work!
Sigh…Do you know what you are saying when this leaks out of your mouth? You are setting yourself up for fraud, money loss, and problems galore. Lets take your car. You probably do not know how to fix the engine but unless you want to replace your car every six months or so, you know some simple maintence. You know you have to put gas in it, get the oil changed, replace radiator fluid and windsheild wiper fluid. You know you have to clean the car periodically, get new tires when they bald, change lights, and maybe even change your flat tire. These are things you know how to do or know how to get help to do. You know that you won’t have a car very long if you don’t do some basic upkeep. It’s the same with a computer. You have know how to do certain things in order for it to last and to work. These aren’t miracle machines, just tools which have to be oiled just like everything else.(Please don’t run and put oil in your computer) You should know how to run defrag, scandisk and your antivirus. Just like a car you should know its serial number, registration information, what kind it is and the like. Computers break down just like everything else in the world, but you can help them last longer with some simple maintence. Read your manuals and help files. They will usually tell you what you need to know.
Am I alone?
No. There are others out there calling in with the same problem. Most things you call in with have been documented and the technician can help you fix it. These usually have come up in the product testing and have been documented. Your problem could be an undocumented problem but usually these are the kind of problems we document in Technical Support Gems.
© Michelle Norton