I Started the Day with Good Intentions

I smile and give sympathy when someone is sick. It’s not just what you are supposed to do but what I want to do. I feel bad for them, after all, they don’t feel well.

The animals had to be taken to the vet today. Goose is doing okay but still really sick. They took a urine sample to send off. We’ll know next week what the final prognosis will be for her. Whinnie was just due for her yearly. I made sure she got the bordetella shot this time since she’ll have to be in a kennel for when we go to Arizona this summer.

I figured that I could take an hour and get a pedi. I haven’t done one in a while but I found an inexpensive place nearby. The esthetician kept talking about my skin. How white it was, how tight. She kept saying I needed a nap, that I was too tense. She asked about the yellowness. I shrugged and said I was tired. Now my toes are sparkling garnet.

The floors needed scrubbing today. Two hours for that, then I thought I would eat something. I watched iZombie and Weird Loners. The first is excellent and I suggest you all watch it. The second is a dirty pleasure that is worth waiting for the joke at the end of the episode. I got my computer going with the intention of getting my homework done. I have two programming assignments and I need to work on my oral for the class of horrors. First, I just needed to take my pills.

The bad parts come like a drunken haze. That’s the worst part, I feel like I’m drunk. I sat on the bed and fell asleep until Aia came home.

Aia told me about her day then offered to make dinner. I had a headache now but I thought I could eat. One episode into Last Ship (go watch this too), I was dancing with the porcelain throne. Eventually I curled up in front of the TV to wait for the pain to pass.

It’s 8:30 now. I’m sweating which means the worst is over for today. I think I can get one thing done before I have to go bed to be up in time for work tomorrow but I wanted to write here first. I learned a long time ago that if I don’t write things down I have nightmares about my days, I’ve been so bad lately and I’ve let this page languish with indecision about what to do.

I worry too much about that. What to do? I admit most days I don’t plan anything. I try not to plan anything too far ahead. Despite everything, I’ve been able to make most things. But what do I know? After all, the doctors say I’m perfectly healthy, not counting the kidney stones, the hypothyroidism, the PCOS, the fibro. As they say, my only problem is that I’m fat and lazy.

A lot of people say I’m funny. Some of the same people and a lot of other people say I’m scary. The professional world has told me time and time again that I will go no where because of the latter.

I’d rather be scary but that doesn’t mean I don’t care if others are hurting.

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