If you’re male and don’t like squicky girl problems then look away. If you’re anyone who doesn’t want to hear me vent and be graphic about squicky girl problems, look the fuck away. You’ve been warned. Also this might not make any sense.

I woke up Monday morning with my left eye swollen shut. I had pretty much expected it because of the hive growing on my nose bridge. Either way I hiked up to the nearest urgent care just in case. And yes, it was part of the allergic reaction I was having to Proactive. (Oh yeah, insult to injury)
That’s right after all that crap and having every single rep lie to me in one way or another I’m also allergic to this crap.

So, they gave me Benadryl and sent me home. I cleaned the house until the swelling went down enough so I could see. That was half a day and most of the money I’d made last week down the drain. Enter pissy mood here. UC also gave me another instruction, stay off all medication until the reaction stops, just in case. That was easy; my script ran out that day so I didn’t take anything and waited.

Put this inside the frame of the fact that this is my week for bleeding all over the floor.

The swelling went down and the hives turned into a large hole off the side of the bridge of my nose. One person told me (on the bus, this was not J.) that it looked like a nice .22 hole and I should get that checked out. Gee thanks.

Then it gets worse.

I take three medications. Metformin for the PCOS. It forces my body to use the insulin in produces rather than store it, according to my doctor, and helps keep the cysts from forming on my ovaries and staying there. Synthroid for hypothyroidism. My thyroid doesn’t function correctly, bad things include crazy weight gain, feelings of being insane, unable to control my emotions, and being cold, very very cold. I also take cyclobenzaprine, a muscle relaxant. It lets me sleep and makes the jarring pain not so bad.

I did okay on Monday felt bad but dealt with it. By Tuesday morning I was in pain, couldn’t remember how to make cream of wheat, and hurt so bad I decided going downstairs to work might be bad idea. I can’t remember how to log into work so I burst into tears. I forgot where the dogs were. I took two sleeping pills to make it through the night since it hurt so much I couldn’t stop crying much less sleep.

It got worse today. I needed to go to the store for tampons. I stood in isle for fifteen minutes trying to remember what I needed. I drove home twice, remembering to get the Christmas tree out of storage turning around and then thinking I was done had to go home. This is fibro-fog and my thyroid acting together to break my brain. Each day has been late to start, hard to finish and all I can do try not to think of the pain. When I can think it’s not rational or in a straight line.

Tomorrow I go back on my meds. I can’t fucking wait. I don’t want to deal with anyone. Everything is irritating tenfold and the people. Well if I had to deal with people today, I’d probably be in jail right now. So no DnD for me tonight. I am not a team player right now.

My problems are transitory. They aren’t that bad. Things will be better tomorrow and it will work itself out. But right now? Right my right shoulder blade hurts and my head hurts and so does my head. I feel like I’m work through cotton and I’m damn fucking cold.