Worries and Wonders

Time to choose between productivity and sleep. My writing has suffered so much in the last year. I barely have time to write, except once or twice a week. Most of the time I’m so tired I just want to veg.

So a group I belong to talked about productivity last night and I had to fess up about how bad I’ve been. Now, in the last three months I’ve been better, pounding out chapters on Forever Girl but not really at a good pace. I could stay up later to write more or get up early…but that’s a whole nother set of problems.

It’s that stupid insomnia. It’s not good. I can’t function after staying up all night. I can’t function while I stay up all night either. Pain sucks.

Good news is that after much experimentation, since I can’t get my old prescriptions anymore, I’ve found that generic zzz-quil works really well, and I can wake up after a few groggy moments in the morning. I wouldn’t mind going back on cyclobenziprene but unless I can get back with my old doctor, which pretty much seems impossible right now, I’ve learned that other doctors think her notes don’t need to be followed.

Bad news is that I sleep like the dead for at least ten hours. Or maybe that’s the good news too. I don’t know.

I wake up with just enough time to get to work. I sleep just after cooking dinner, and getting my home work done.

I feel like I’m failing here. This really fucking sucks.

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