A Goldfish Oddessy

After a night of wine drinking , I came home to find two goldfish on the table. Being after midnight and feeling a little tipsy and tired. I just uttered, “Dammit” and went to bed.

In the morning, the fish were still there. My grandfather and gotten them for free at the garden show(1 per customer, my grandfather argued that my grandmother was another customer and managed two). He brought them home, cleaned out one of the Christmas flower planters, grabbed some rocks from the garden and thought he was good to go.

So here were these two goldfish in murky water, with dirty rocks in a neat hexagonal bowl.

I said, “Dammit.”

Then my parents showed up to briefly dump more crap I have to figure out how to get rid of(they are moving so are forgiven). They all sat around the table(mother, father, grandma, and grandpa) and told me not to worry because then my daughter could have funeral in the bathroom in a few days.

They seriously did not realize how aweful that sounded. My daughter was due back from her father’s at any moment. She is just in the potty training stage. I think a fishy funeral would scare her from the potty for a long time, not to mention the whole problem of death to a two year old. So I set out to save the damn fish.

I know very little about fish. Elementary school was animal orientated, we tried to keep all manner of things alive. I baby sat for various people who kept exotic fish. My ex-best friend killed many fish, a mouse, a parakeet and countless wild birds.

Something had to have rubbed off. My cats do really well. I had a dog for nearly 10 years(lived to 15). So I went to the pet store and started buying stuff. The night before my cousin had been worrying about her own fish. I had paid some attention to her and remembered some of what she talked about. So I grabed a 5 gallon tank that came with a simular filter. I got rocks, airators, little cave things, glass eggs, food, scrubbers, nets, and vacums. I was set.

It took me a hour to set up the thing. My grandmother spent half the time claiming that we had no room and that she wouldn’t let grandpa buy the stuff last night. I just explained you should never bring something home to kill it if you are not going to eat it too. My grandfather offered to eat them.

Aia came home just before I put the fish in. She watched as I caught the buggers and got them in the tank. It took two seconds for the fish to go from lauguishing at the top, trying to breath to darting around like maniacs looking kind of happy like.

She’s happy, I’m happy, Grandma has a new table centerpiece.

What they hell am I going to do with fish? I just hope they live for a while now.

Update: 5/23/03
Well Bert and Ernie are still alive and growing. Ernie has lost all his brown and Bert is completely opaque now. Happy little suckers.

Update: 8/04
Bert Died, having been over fed by my daughter. I was able to rescue Ernie. Ernie has a new home with a lady named Anna, whose hobby is taking care of fish. He seems much happier, and much bigger. Thus Endith the Fish Oddessy!
Copyright Michelle Norton(Tirjasdyn)

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The CIA convened an open panel of scientists in January to discuss potential terrorist uses of life-science research, and the panel concluded that,despite the risks, openness in scientific study was absolutely crucial; in April, the CIA suppressed the panel’s conclusions on openness as classified.[Federation of American Scientists Secrecy News, 4-2-03]

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