Contemplating Vegetarianism

Food is a dilemma.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2009, officially, with various mentions of it beforehand. My first cyst was in 2002, that I knew was a cyst. I had random abdomen pain before but was told it was nothing. So who knows.

Infertility aside, my body was taking insulin, storing it as fat, fat which became cysts. These cysts have a high potential to become cancer.

For years I was on metformin, a diabetes type 2 drug that forces your body to use insulin instead of storing. After having my gallbladder removed due to congenital gall disease, I couldn’t handle the metformin any more. I tried for three years.

So I stopped in 2018 and upped my birth control (stops normal cysts from forming). Now however diet became a larger issue.

Here’s where it gets complicated.

My thyroid is borked. So not only is my body trying really hard to store insulin but my metabolism is slow. Without metformin, my weight started creeping up and cysts started appearing in other places. I’m in the middle of a updated thyroid course (this is where they raise my thyroid med dosage and see if it stabilizes).

This looks good so it’s time to look at diet. Here are the problems.

I need to avoid all carbs – carbs equal insulin, insulin equals tipping my body’s limited ability to use insulin, which means cysts, which means illness and death. Grains, beans, and starches are huge issues here.

On top of that, lower carb leafy greens give me kidney stones, and run through my system like water as my liver just can’t deal with them. I have two or three kidney stones a year on a low veggie diet but it gets worse.

Meat make me ill. Chicken, pork, lamb, beef, if I eat too much I can spend the night puking my guts out. And dairy…well lack of a gall bladder make that difficult.

So…food hates me.

I’ve been working on a high fat diet for months, and I’m thinking of trying to give up meat and see what happens.

You’ve all seen me fail. Every soda, every extra helping of meat, each chip or cracker, even a full salad…a failure.

When I don’t eat carbs, my body believes it’s starving. This is an effect of PCOS. My body wants the carbs badly. I get shaky, headaches, short of breath, itchy. I’ve been told it will always be this way. It’s just how the disease works.

So I think I need to role the dice here. Let’s face it: meat presents so many issues environmentally. I like meat but I am finding with working at home, that I have a better control of what is available to me.

So I think I’m going to work through the meat in my freezer…and then stop buying it.

I’m going to risk the kidney stones and move to more vegetarian. I’ll stick with eggs and small amounts of dairy. And I will just eat veggies. I think I can do this. Especially if I just give myself permission to fail when I’m out. I think if I do that, I can resist the issue at home. It’s hard to think about.

Harder to do.

I’m not asking you not to write what you know. I’m asking you to know more.Daniel – Ugly Betty


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