03/13/2001 9:14pm
Today:
I was very tired today. I only got a little bit done. Shawn’s eyes have been check and it’s about sixty more dollars than we thought. Aia is so beautiful, she is so bright. I’ve started reading “Green Witchcraft”. I got some things straighted out with Yahoo; they weren’t sending my mail. Did a little webpage work. Still have to do more for Steph’s grant. Things seem to be going well.
Daily Reading: Tarot Companions
Experience: Grail Five
Guide: Spear Queen
Teacher: The Star
A broken promise…some type of dissapointment? This gives me a sick feeling in my stomach.
Friendly but grief stricken…deeply wounded by the land she serves…
Learning, renewal, the willingness to go on.
1. I feel that fall is easiest. The year winds down, air changes and the holidays come…I love holidays, especially family ones. It gives me a renewed sense of energy. In my own year cycle, it is a beginning. I follow the one layed out by the American public school system. Beginning in Fall, end in spring and hiatus in summer. It has rulled my life for so long that I am attached to it. This makes spring the hardest…I have so much to get down before the summer. Though there is stress in fall before the holidays, it does not compare to that which I feel before summer. An example this year: In the fall the PSA hosted a witches ball. A very stressful time to a point where I got almost no sleep even though I was eight months pregnant. This spring we are getting ready for a family trip to Mexico, this is more stressful, my family is involved, things have to be perfect. So much has to be done and we have little money. It keeps me awake more and the renewal of spring only reminds that time is running out.
2. Gloomy, rainy weather is best. Its curl up comfortable weather that makes me want to be with friends and have a nice quiet time. I never seem to have enough energy and sunny days want to make me exhaust myself in outdoor and other activities. I usually do and pay for it that night. I feel more powerful on gloomy days, but no need to use that power.
3. My best time is in the night. The bright stars and night air gives me energy. The time of lowest energy is in the afternoon. After the morning slug and rush, past food time but before play, I feel sleepy and want a nap badly regardless of what I’m doing.
4. Water, I feel at home in water. But fire runs in my veins and makes me work regardless of how tired I am. I feel the lure of both.
Meditation: Cleansing the Caers
In the north the clouds raced through the sky on a windy day. The whole of the south was ablaze. The west was awash in an ocean, but salty as if bittersweet, I had to work hard for them to become fresh waters. The east was a damp overgrown jungle, it was night and had just rained. A grass park littered with evergreens was off to the side, reminding me of summer nights. My inner caer was a stone tower with a winding stair up the middle covered in red carpet. The rooms ringed each floor though there were no celings or floors, except on the first, there was a floor…from the stair one had to take a leap of faith to reach each room.
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