Hallowquest Lesson 53

03/11/2002 8:21pm

Today: Today was kind of hard. I love Aia but I miss my alone time during the day. I felt like I was not doing enough looking for a job. I feel lost again.

Meditation: Merlin
I am looking to the thirteen facets.

Daily Reading: Merlin’s Mirror Spread

1. Sword Maiden
2. Sword Seven
3. Sword Nine
4. Sword Hallow
5. Sword Five
6. Grail Eight
7. The Sun
8. Sword King
9. The Moon
10. Grail Maiden
11. Stone Queen
12. Sword Six
13. Spear King

Extra Card: Stone Four

Is the sword maiden my face…it seems to fit but of course does not show the underneath. Do I seem that confidant to others? I’m afraid of not trying hard enough…of screwing up…I don’t feel comfortable with this face. Boy isn’t that true? I don’t feel like I’m going any where and I can’t change. My actual doing seems positive. I am trying, I am changing. I’m putting myself in situations that make me feel right. Sword five doesn’t seem right…but then it does…sometimes I wish I could do the bad, the evil thing…I know I can’t though. Grail eight is also confusing…I think that my need for a broader “outlook” is the prevention…and a right one. The fun stuff seems to be what I am avoiding. I don’t know though, I try to do fun things. I want to be that wise one…I know. My own fallacy and fantasy there. It seems at heart I am a fluid creature…the moon decribes my dreams and life well it seems. To serve is my purpose…but to serve what? To provide security…hrm…stop being so confidant? I may need to sacrifice something.

Oh this spread seems so ambiguous. I feels just as lost. Is the overall tell perhaps a look into reaching out more?

Merlin’s gift is the liscense to create.

Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow, Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead, Walk beside me, and just be my friend.Unknown






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