I am mostly alone.
That’s not fully true. My dogs are here. I talk with and visit friends all the time. Life is just a quiet stillness for me. And realizations.
Realizations that I am happy. I don’t need anyone to make me happy.
Dating has not gone well. At this age who is left but those who would drag me down? Now I put things where I want them. Make the food I want to eat. Do the things I enjoy.
Why change that for someone else?
I went on a date last Friday. It was all things I hated. The little things. Things that build up over time. I had to conform to where they had to go. Fit into their schedule. Wait for them. Oops, they decided to do something else before and after. It cut into our time. Oops. Just wait, and leave early. Wait some more.
No.
I don’t want to compromise everything. I don’t want to make others feel comfortable. What about my comfort?
Selfish.
Motherfucker, I earned selfish.
Not to say I don’t want to help. I will help, I will enjoy.
I won’t break my back to do everything for you when you do nothing for me.
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