Hypocrite

This happened in the spring of 2004. This was the worst decision of my life. I cannot help but hate myself for it, because despite the circumstances it was my fault.

My ex-husband moved in just before we got married. Shortly after we were married, we had to turn him in for a breaking probation. While he was gone I was left with his dog to take care of. We knew we did not have room for the giant chow-retriever mix, as I had no yard and a very small house.

Mikey was brindle colored with long shaggy fur. He ate things, but was a lovable pup. He was huge but we loved him. I started looking for a home for him, but there were no takers.

I bought the house just that fall just before I started dating my that ex-husband. I had to have landscaping done before the summer was over. My grandparents had paid the deposit with the understanding they would get it back if they helped with the landscaping.

My grandmother gave me an ultimatum just before we began work on the landscaping. She told me to get rid of the dog or they would renege on the landscaping. I told them to fob off. My mother ambushed me shortly after that telling me that I had to take him to the animal shelter.

I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I had lost my job in January, I was working for a low paying temp service, fighting with my ex-husband’s old homeowner’s association on the sale of his property, my husband was in jail and I was struggling with my daughter, who do to the changes in our lives was a current nightmare.

I gave in.

I took a happy Mikey to animal shelter, with my mother’s assurance that if they found him un-adoptable on Monday, she would pay the fine to get him back.

On Monday they called telling us he was un-adoptable. My mother went down there but refused to pay the fine. When I asked her why she said Mikey failed the health screen and that they wanted $500.00 to get him out.

The next I called again. They had already put him to sleep. They told me he failed because of his heart. That he would have died anyway. He was a hyperactive dog.

I don’t know if that was true. I never will. I can’t help feeling, that this was the worst thing I have every done. I’ve had to find new homes for pets before, but always found loving homes where I get updates on their health.

I failed Mikey though.