Not so shiney Shinies


So the IT guy in charge of phones brought me headset for my phone. I’ve been trying to get one for about 7 months as the neck pain was bothering me. Finally the prez requested one for me (the only way anything gets done here is if a vip requests something, the rest of us have to suffer cause 9 out of 10 times calls to the IT help desk result in, “The prez must send a request to us directly”. Who cares if you are unable to do your job until this happens and he’s out of town for the next three weeks. Red Tape at its best.).

But true to form, our IT professionals did not read the box. They must have only looked at the words “headset” and the price in the catalog, because I got a cheap one. The buttons on the desk device do not do anything. (Yes I read the directions, they don’t do anything.) I still have to pickup the reciever to answer a call. No automatic answer or even a working button. The phone acts as normal unless I pick up the reciever, then the headset kicks in. However, I cannot just leave the reciever off the hook. The phone won’t hang up with this device plugged in unless I hang up the reciever. The buttons on the phone that I could use to hang up before don’t work with the headset.

That’s not all. The nifty non-headband version doesn’t fit my ear. It was made for dumbo as far as I can tell and the mic is not adjustable. So I could have it hanging like a limpid noodle or if I squeeze it a bit then readjust so it fits nicely I can poke my eye out with the mic. Now add all the extra wires to my crowded cube and you’ve got all the makins’ of a hangin’.

Remarkably this is not the phone’s fault. According to the directions of the headset, these are features. Uh-huh. I know they they make wireless models, models with buttons that work…I was in tech support for long enough to know that a real mute button is a god send. The mute button on the phone was fine, the one on the headset is just for show. Of course my Ipod’s ear buds fit nicely under the headset, much to the disgust of several co-workers. (Or should I say management, they are not my peers in the corporate world after all).

Sigh. Here’s some lyrics for you. Probably the best song on Sting’s Brand New Day. It makes me happy, weirdly enough.

STING – Ghost Story Lyrics

I watch the Western sky

The sun is sinking

The geese are flying South

It sets me thinking

I did not miss you much

I did not suffer

What did not kill me

Just made me tougher

I feel the winter come

His icy sinews

Now in the fire light

The case continues

Another night in court

The same old trial

The same old questions asked

The same denial

The shadows closely run

Like jury members

I look for answers in

The fire’s embers

Why was I missing then

That whole December

I give my usual line:

I don’t remember

Another winter comes

His icy fingers creep

Into these bones of mine

These memories never sleep

And all these differences

A cloak I borrow

We kept our distances

Why should it follow I must have loved you

What is the force that binds the stars

I wore this mask to hide my scars

What is the power that pulls the tide

I never could find a place to hide

What moves the Earth around the sun

What could I do but run and run and run

Afraid to love, afraid to fail

A mast without a sail

The moon’s a fingernail and slowly sinking

Another day begins and now I’m thinking

That this indifference was my invention

When everything I did sought your attention

You were my compass star

You were my measure

You were a pirate’s map

A buried treasure

If this was all correct

The last thing I’d expect

The prosecution rests

It’s time that I confess: I must have loved you

The simplest questions are the hardest to answerNorthrop Frye







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