MJN: Fuzzy Thoughts

Goals in 2022

I know, resolutions were due nearly 3 months ago. If you’re like me with an ever revolving list of things to do with items that I just want to get done, then you know that finding time is such an issue. So is practice. Last year was bad. So bad that I just threw myself…
On Choosing the Blue Pill

Somewhere on this blog, there is a long ago post about having to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. I grew up knowing that pills were bad. That taking one was a failure. That is not true. It was never true. Every time a pill was added there was someone…
Monsters in the Real World: What Itâ€™s Like to Get an Easily Preventable Disease Because People Wonâ€™t Get Vaccinated

The following is graphic account of sickness. A few days before the end of 2019 I woke up feeling crappy. I took the day off work and figured I had a bad cold. A stack of medications on my bathroom counter and four surgeries later Iâ€™m still dealing with that day. This isnâ€™t about Covid.…
Things I’d Tell A Younger Me

A List. When the teach told you could only read the books in your bin for your reading group of one, which had already read. And if you fussed she would take away all the books, steal the books in the other bins when she wasn’t looking. When they lock you in a room to…
2022: New Year, Same Me Just More Broken Now

Yesterday I forgot to put coffee in my coffee. I put in the brown sugar, some hot water to water it down, vanilla, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg and some cocoa powder, then walked back to my desk and took a drink of tepid mud water. Yuk. This is a larger issue though, something that has been…
I’m Tired

Two more surgeries this year and I’m finally feeling better as far as the ongoing abdominal pain I’ve had for years. Endometriosis isn’t a surprise but, well, it wasn’t unexpected in the context what they thought they would be going into do. So I’m officially in menopause. As far as that goes, so far so…
Reflection on Good Things in a Year of Pain

It’s funny how this works. This time last year, I was suffering immense physical pain. I was isolated from everyone I knew both in quarantine and distance. Oh yeah, and Winnie died. Surgery was imminent. I had to go to physical therapy for my face. People all around the world seemed to be embroiled in…
Diagnosis: Validation in Time

After years of tests and admonitions that I am fine, I have a diagnosis. NASH, non-alcoholic steatohepatitis. A form of hepatitis that forms because of fat infiltrating the liver, common with conditions where fat is stored abnormally (PCOS and Hypothyroidism). I’m in the beginning stages of cirrhosis so very little damage. But damage nonetheless. In…
Removing My Hysteria

New Latin, from English hysteric, adjective, from Latin hystericus, from Greek hysterikos, from hystera womb; from the Greek notion that hysteria was peculiar to women and caused by disturbances of the uterus. History and Etymology for hysteria Four weeks ago I had a hysterectomy. Besides the pain, everything seemed to well. I don’t miss my…
The Hero’s Journey is Not the Only Story

The monomyth is all. All hail the monomyth. In the late eighties, just I was reaching the point where I realized I wanted to be a writer, the Hero’s Journey was top of mind. Joseph Campbell’s work of the past several decades had influenced the halls of fantasy and sci fi in ways that gave…
Whinnie Dog

Whinnie, my black pug, died Thursday morning at 3am as I held her. She was the best $1000 I ever spent. Just a perfect dog. She was stoic, almost never complained. She loved to play but would bark if she couldn’t find you. She knew what she wanted and could be very demanding. She was…
What it’s like to go to the Doctor in the era of Covid-19

I had to go to the doctor for a follow up. I had set the appointment a week earlier, and they assured me that everything was fine and I would be given a mask. That’s not really what happened. TMI warning. I was dealing with some heavy side affects from the medication. Most of which…

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