Routines are hard. I’m not entirely sure why but unless I have people who can’t or won’t get along without me, I can’t seem to keep to a schedule.
I have a neat calendar. I set timers, alarms, etc but just getting out a video every week is so hard. I want to do it but I also just want to melt away.
Like my motivation has.
Every time I’ve been successful, in anything from cleaning to creating, it has been because I have people to do it with me. I don’t have that for most things. No one to make go, or talk to while I clean. No one to read my work, or check my painting.
I’m not giving up. I’m not. But I have to acknowledge that I’m having trouble. I have no solutions. Only the hope that maybe I can find some way past this block.
I’ve found a new writing group. They only do one story/chapter a week, but I’ve thrown my name in. A deadline is important.
Otherwise, I’m trying. I will have a video done today. I just need to add the music. Everything else is edited. I will paint this weekend. I have no excuse not to.
I will do this.
I’m reading through the rest of Terry Pratchett’s books that I haven’t read yet. I need something I know will be good. I don’t feel like searching at the moment and this seems like a good idea. I’ve read Pratchett on and off through the years. So I decided to fill in the gaps I have on Discworld, starting with Equal Rites.
It helps that people want to do things. I will get out. I have two groups that expect me to be there. And I’ve promised myself to do at least one other out-of-the-house thing. Either one I have joined previously or something new.
I will keep trying.
I will.
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