Smackdown: Thanks for all the Encouragement

Holy shit! Thank you all for the words of encouragement.

Some of you might find this funny (some may have have no idea why this is weird) but I told my mother my plans. For the very first time in my life she said go for it. She’s never encouraged me to do anything risky, ever. In fact, she usually yells at me for long periods of time if I have a risky thought.

So I’m looking into insurance plans as well as the plan I will qualify for in two months. I’m feeling a little chicken…but I’m gonna do it. I told someone once that I would never be able to follow that dream because I had to give everything up to support my daughter alone. I am extremely grateful that the gods have seen fit to hand me back my dream and still allow my to support the pooh bunny.

A little background: I’ve been doing this work since 95. Last year I started being payed seriously to write. Not amateur rates anymore, which are free to piddling amounts. My non-fiction freelance opportunities have been growing and with a mix of fiction in there I’ve been extremely happy with the result. Then this November, when I got sick, I found out that I could do this full time.

I have UI problems and possibly fibromyalgia. Pain keeps me awake. So I write. I’ve been working the equivalent of another 8 hours day at it and I’ve been making more than I have at my day job. Despite all my complaints, it’s hard to express how much I love web design and therefore my current job. But I love writing more.

For a girl who can’t hold a pencil too long without pain…that’s fairly ironic.

It’s almost three in the morning. I have a lot of work to do before I can quit. I need to have a week or two pay for the shift in schedule buffer and insurance. I need to wrap up work projects and get people trained.

To the folks that have said why not work both and pay down the debt…I thought about this a long time. And I realized that I can’t do it. I’ve been working 16 hour days for the past month because I can’t sleep. If I keep this up I will not have time to do things that matter to me that aren’t work. I know it sounds silly…but that road lay madness, and a life not worth living. I want to live life.

So here I go. Count down begun. Mom, I’m gonna be a writer.

Don’t leave. Don’t abandon. Don’t censor. Engage.John Stewart



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