Winter 2001
One & Two
Free from life the spirit drifted to a new world. Reborn, she was whole. She emerged from the depths of life to find enlightenment at all costs. Of course she had been betrayed at the end, yet she made it past that into the release. She was content and willing to go on.
Suddenly the light darkened. She was losing her way. A vast desert spread around her and she was substance again.
Three & Four
She looked around fast. No one. At first she cryed alone. then she began to run. It did not take long for the heat to get to here. She fell to her knees wasting precious tears.
When she awoke, the walls were padded white. Some one told her to rest, but she could not move. She screamed but the men, bald men in white coats, ignored her.
Five & Six
Slowly she sucumbed to the dullness of life confined and restrained. When the bonds broken she lay there not knowing what to do.
Eventually she crawled from the bed. Her muscles weak, she had to crawl. Out side of the room the world was dank, dark and full of slime. She crawled through it all, concentrating on one pin point of light. She crawled through the light and rested, knowing her ordeal was not over.
Seven & Eight
Now she was in vegitation..a large jungle. Still lost, she began to look around. Eventually she sat down, content to wait. All she wanted to do was rest.
Slowly she began to realize that the world had closed in on her. There was no way out of the jungle. Except one. She closed her eyes and began to dream of freedom.
Nine & Ten
It did not take long for her dreams to sour. She was imprisoned again. Dark dank rooms surrounded her with no light. She succumbed to it.
Men rushed into the room. She was beaten, raped. The world grew darker by moments.
Page & Knight
Eventually a young man came in. He waited for her to notice him. When she did, he took her out into the light. He dressed her and bathed her. She saw him taking to someone about her release. But his intentions were not all good. She was to be his.
She stopped him at every turn. Already used and abused she refused to accept him. She became his hatred and his life. He could move without her comment.
Queen & King
She seemed to become queen of the manor. This trustworthy matron. Still she longed to be free. And when her captor’s eyes fell in trust, she ran. Taring clothes from her, she ran forgeting all that she had in the manor house.
The young man did not give up. He hounded her, followed. The chase was forever.
Qabalistic Cross Spread
I am using the Giant Rider-Waite with the Druid Animal Oracle for the Significator.
Question: What surrounds my Job Hunt.
S. Seal
4. Eight of Swords (r)
13. Eight of Wands (r)
12. Five of Cups
11. The Fool
1. Ten of Wands (r)
2. Judgement
3. Eight of Pentacles
10. Queen of Pentacles
9. The Magician
8. Five of Wands (r)
5. Knight of Swords (r)
6. Seven of Cups
7. Six of Cups
The seal repersents what I am looking into right. Expand your mind, man and all of that. However the Eight of swords is right in my secluding myself. In the past I haven’t been the most upright citizen, I’ve worried alot and had problems with money. Recently I’ve started a new journey.
Sigh…I am spoiling myself…gotta stop those impulse buys. Wow, judgement is right on with how I came to feel about this divorce. I really felt a revelation about my outlook on life. And I have been getting work done on my projects…
They tell me I need to be more down to earth soon. I’m workin on mastering my skills….though the legal disputes of the five of wands scares me….with the divorce and aia’s name change coming up. I hope it doesn’t come to that.
Boy does that sound like how my “friends” see me. But I’m not decitful. Alot of people feel like I need to face some choices..both as a pagan and a person. I know some people wich the best for me…especially my family…time to choose I guess.
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