That ol’ Size Thang


I’m still 189lbs. That’s the most I’ve ever weigh consistantly. I’ve been 200lbs twice…once after my freshman year which I lost 60lbs immediately and the day I gave birth to Aia, in which I lost 40lbs right away.

But here’s the thing. I’m a size 12/14. That is 3-2 sizes less than I’ve been since my freshman year. I managed to get to 12 before my thyroid completely died. Then I ballooned to 189 which I’ve maintained now for 1 1/2 years. I shot back to a 16 for about six months, but I’ve been working out 3 days a week (mostly) since then and have now gotten in the habit of 5 days a week. I maintain. I keep my size down but I weigh more than I did when I was wearing size 18-20w.

The result: Fun House Mirror. From the front I actually look pretty good. Nice waist to hip/breast ratio. From the size I look about 100lbs heavier than I am with jutting lower abs and bumpy midsections. My legs are muscular large as are my arms. I can sit up without help (I have the strongest midsection I’ve every had under all that fat) carry 180lbs, bench press a lot more. If you put me next to my family I look like (and am) the fat cousin.

I have a lot of flappy skin at the mid section. I know it takes years to go away. I eat farely healthy. The special k thing did not loose me any weight but turned out to be a great snack. The doc has told me settle if I can’t afford more. She still believes I’m actually not eating enough. Let’s see: Chai for breakfast, Lunch sensible high protein miniamal carbs, dinner high in veggies and low in fat. I’ve been very consistant about that even with J.’s cooking. I take smaller portions. I graze instead of gorge. I cut out sugar down to only once or twice a week for pop, or dessert which usually only happens on dnd, J’s or Misty’s.

I’d love to try slimforlife but the thousands of dollars is out of my price range.


A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.Thomas Mann




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