Sigh.
I’m still 189lbs. That’s the most I’ve ever weigh consistantly. I’ve been 200lbs twice…once after my freshman year which I lost 60lbs immediately and the day I gave birth to Aia, in which I lost 40lbs right away.
But here’s the thing. I’m a size 12/14. That is 3-2 sizes less than I’ve been since my freshman year. I managed to get to 12 before my thyroid completely died. Then I ballooned to 189 which I’ve maintained now for 1 1/2 years. I shot back to a 16 for about six months, but I’ve been working out 3 days a week (mostly) since then and have now gotten in the habit of 5 days a week. I maintain. I keep my size down but I weigh more than I did when I was wearing size 18-20w.
The result: Fun House Mirror. From the front I actually look pretty good. Nice waist to hip/breast ratio. From the size I look about 100lbs heavier than I am with jutting lower abs and bumpy midsections. My legs are muscular large as are my arms. I can sit up without help (I have the strongest midsection I’ve every had under all that fat) carry 180lbs, bench press a lot more. If you put me next to my family I look like (and am) the fat cousin.
I have a lot of flappy skin at the mid section. I know it takes years to go away. I eat farely healthy. The special k thing did not loose me any weight but turned out to be a great snack. The doc has told me settle if I can’t afford more. She still believes I’m actually not eating enough. Let’s see: Chai for breakfast, Lunch sensible high protein miniamal carbs, dinner high in veggies and low in fat. I’ve been very consistant about that even with J.’s cooking. I take smaller portions. I graze instead of gorge. I cut out sugar down to only once or twice a week for pop, or dessert which usually only happens on dnd, J’s or Misty’s.
I’d love to try slimforlife but the thousands of dollars is out of my price range.
Sigh.
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